Week 2 of the “Where It Lands” series
By Trina Nudson, JD, LBSW – Child Advocate & Co-Parenting Coach

Once you start seeing how co-parenting dynamics shape your child care program,
you can’t unsee it.

And that’s not a bad thing.
It’s actually the start of something better.

Because awareness isn’t the problem.
It’s the missing piece.

Here are ten things providers often begin to notice once they realize that co-parent conflict isn’t rare or extreme—it’s daily, and it’s theirs to manage:1. You pause before sending a message—wondering how it will land with each parent.

You start editing tone more than content. Not because you’re unsure what to say—but because you’ve been burned before.

2. You’re asked to resend something “just to me, not them,” and you’re not sure who’s in or out of the loop anymore.

3. A child’s backpack becomes a battleground.
Homework, forms, art projects—they sometimes return with corrections, sometimes not at all.

4. You feel tension around holidays, crafts, or birthday celebrations.
Not because of the child—but because of who might feel left out.

5. You’ve had to explain the same thing twice, in different ways, to different parents—trying to stay consistent without taking sides.

6. Forms linger unsigned.
Not from neglect, but from disagreement—or silence between the adults who need to agree.

7. One parent asks for clarification. The other calls to complain.
You’re caught in the middle and it feels personal—even when it isn’t.

8. You’ve started saying, “Let me check with leadership,” not because you have to, but because you need a buffer.

9. You watch the child work hard to manage adult emotions.
You see the hesitations in what they say. The carefulness. The coded language.

10. You leave work wondering if you accidentally made things worse— even though you followed the policy, made the call, and did everything right.

If any of this sounds familiar,
you’re not alone.
You’re not imagining it.
You’re just starting to see the migraine.

And once we can name it,
we can start building something better.

Next Tuesday: Why Neutrality Isn’t Enough (and Was Never the Point)
Until then, share this with a colleague or let me know what you’ve started noticing in your own program.