I recently read All In Startup by Diana Kander, and I have to say—it completely blew my mind. The book presents an incredibly simple yet powerful idea: people don’t buy products; they buy solutions. Entrepreneurs often get stuck in the trap of having an idea, building the product, branding it, and then trying to convince customers to buy it. But the real key to success?

✅ Start by identifying the customer’s migraine-level problem
✅ Talk to them, understand their pain, and gather insights
✅ Build a solution that directly addresses their core need
✅ Then, and only then, brand and sell it

This sounds so obvious in hindsight, but how often do we skip straight to creating something we think people need—without really making sure it solves their biggest problem?

And that’s when it hit me… this is exactly what I do in co-parenting coaching.

The Parallel Between Entrepreneurship and Co-Parenting

In high-conflict co-parenting situations, parents often get stuck in rigid positions—arguing about custody schedules, communication styles, or household rules. But underneath these positions are core concerns, fears, and unmet needs that drive their stance.

When I coach co-parents, I don’t focus on their demands—I focus on their why.

🔹 What is it they truly fear?
🔹 What underlying concern is making them dig their heels in?
🔹 What migraine-level problem are they trying to solve for themselves or their child?

Once we uncover this, we can design solutions that work for both parents—rather than forcing a solution that they will resist.

Connecting the Dots: Transferable Mindset Shifts

Reading All In Startup made me realize how universal this concept is. Whether in co-parenting, entrepreneurship, leadership, or life in general, understanding the root problem is the key to real, lasting solutions. It’s not about persuading someone to agree with you—it’s about showing them a path that actually relieves their pain.

That’s why I love integrating entrepreneurial research into co-parenting coaching. Once you see how this principle works in one area of life, it becomes so easily transferable to those harder areas—whether it’s building a business or negotiating with someone you don’t particularly like.

Just as I am growing as an entrepreneur, co-parents can grow in their ability to navigate conflict effectively.

A Simple Yet Transformative Question

If you’re navigating co-parenting, business, or just life in general—ask yourself:

🔹 Are you stuck selling an idea, or are you solving a real problem?
🔹 Are you pushing for a solution without truly understanding the concerns that need to be addressed?
🔹 Where in your life could you shift from selling to solving?

This mindset shift is a game-changer.

If you haven’t read All In Startup, I highly recommend it. And if you’re someone who works with people in any capacity—whether in business, coaching, or parenting—I encourage you to take a step back and ask:

💡 Are you branding and selling an idea? Or are you solving a problem?

That shift can make all the difference.