Author: TrinaTLP

By Trina Nudson, JD, LBSW – Child Advocate & Co-Parenting Coach

Even the best-trained providers can get caught in the crossfire of co-parenting conflict.

A drop-off gets tense. A parent corners you at pick-up. You receive a message that puts you on edge. Suddenly your body is tense, your words feel scrambled, and your next action feels heavier than it should.

It happens to all of us. Continue reading “Week 9 When Words Get Stuck: A Tool for Staying Regulated in the Middle of Co-Parenting Conflict”

By Trina Nudson, JD, LBSW – Child Advocate & Co-Parenting Coach

Alignment doesn’t live in one person. It lives in the culture.

The most effective child care providers don’t just hope parents align with their policies. They build those policies with intention—rooted in their why, modeled consistently by staff, and carried through in everyday practices.

When alignment is built into the culture, policies make sense. Expectations feel steady. And families have something to lean on—especially during times of tension.

Let’s look at something simple: birthday treats.

One provider shared that they no longer allow outside birthday treats. Instead, they bake together at the center—everyone’s included, no parent feels left out, and there’s no competition over who brings the best cupcakes.

Another program sets a “Birthday Celebration Day” once a month. All parents are invited to contribute treats or decorations, and celebrations are standardized—so no one parent controls the experience.

These are different solutions. But they’re aligned. Because they were chosen in advance, shaped by the provider’s culture, and communicated clearly.

When decisions reflect our why, consistency follows.
When policies are lived—not just posted—they build trust.

Culture-level alignment is what allows a provider to say:
“This is how we do things here.”
And have that statement feel safe—not rigid. Predictable—not controlling.

Culture sets the tone.
Policy makes it practical.
Practice brings it to life.

And when it’s working, families don’t just follow the rules—they feel held by them.

If you’re wondering how to embed alignment into daily decisions, stay tuned. Next week, we’ll share a new tool designed to help providers stay grounded in their why—even in the heat of the moment.

Trina Nudson, JD, LBSW – Child Advocate & Co-Parenting Coach

Even the best systems don’t hold perfectly under pressure.
Even the most aligned teams wobble.

And that’s not failure. It’s part of the work.

Why Systems Slip
A parent’s conflict escalates unexpectedly
A new situation tests a policy that seemed solid
A staff member improvises, thinking it’ll help—but it backfires
Stress piles up, and the team falls into reactive habits

These aren’t signs that alignment isn’t working. They’re signs that we’re human.

Continue reading “Week 7: When Systems Get Shaky: What To Do When Alignment Slips”

By Trina Nudson, JD, LBSW – Child Advocate & Co-Parenting Coach

If you’ve followed this series so far, you know that alignment isn’t about grand gestures or one-time fixes. It’s about what happens in the small moments—the daily choices that either help co-parenting conflict stay out of your classroom or invite it in.

We’ve talked about seeing the patterns. We’ve talked about building systems. We’ve talked about making alignment tangible through policies, practices, and 30-60-90 day reflections.

But what happens when stress rises? When the systems you’ve worked so hard to build get tested?

Because here’s the truth: alignment isn’t a destination. It’s a practice. And the real test of that practice isn’t in calm moments—it’s in the moments when pressure builds.

Continue reading “Week 6 Sustaining Alignment: Keeping Systems Strong When Stress Rises”

By Trina Nudson, JD, LBSW – Child Advocate & Co-Parenting Coach

Over the past four weeks, we’ve named the migraine.
We’ve unpacked the patterns.
We’ve clarified that neutrality alone isn’t the goal—it’s the floor.

But insight only gets us so far.
What changes when we choose action?

1. Alignment Isn’t a Feeling—It’s a Practice
Alignment doesn’t mean everyone agrees.
It means the system knows what to do when they don’t.

When providers have clear messaging protocols, shared expectations for family participation, and consistent communication formats—children experience stability, even in the midst of adult conflict.

2. The Best Practices Are Built, Not Borrowed
Every program is different. Every family is different.
That’s why alignment isn’t a one-size-fits-all script.

It’s an ongoing commitment to clarity, consistency, and care.
And the best tools are the ones you co-create with your team.

Try starting here:

• A monthly 15-minute team check-in focused on co-parent dynamics

• A review of your intake forms to ensure both parents are engaged from the start

• A shared glossary of child-centered, listener-friendly language

3. We Don’t Just Hold Space—We Shape It
Whether you’re a child care provider, a coach, or a clinician—how you respond to conflict shapes the environment children grow in.

When you model curiosity over assumption, pause over reaction, clarity over perfection—you don’t just sidestep chaos.
You build safety.
And children feel it.

Because alignment isn’t abstract. It’s what they notice. What they feel.
And what they carry with them—long after they leave our care.

🗓️ Next Tuesday: Making It Stick—Sustaining Alignment Over Time
💬 Want help taking your program or practice from awareness to alignment? Reach out—we’d love to support you.

Tools That Help You Align Without Taking Sides

By Trina Nudson, JD, LBSW – Child Advocate & Co-Parenting Coach

If you’ve been following this series, you’ve likely started to see it.

Not just the surface-level stress—but the deeper patterns. The systems strain. The quiet ways co-parenting conflict reshapes your role, your team, and your classroom.

And by now, you know this much is true:
Neutrality was a starting place. But it was never the destination.

So what comes next?

This week, we’re talking tools—not scripts to memorize or buzzwords to post, but real practices that support alignment without inviting you into the storm.

Continue reading “Week 4 of the Where It Lands Series”

By Trina Nudson, JD, LBSW – Child Advocate & Co-Parenting Coach

In Week 1, we named what no one was talking about.
In Week 2, we outlined the patterns providers start to see once they notice the weight.

Now, it’s time to talk about the strategy that’s often suggested—but rarely works:

Neutrality.

Continue reading “Week 3 of the Where It Lands Series:Why Neutrality Isn’t Enough”

Week 2 of the “Where It Lands” series
By Trina Nudson, JD, LBSW – Child Advocate & Co-Parenting Coach

Once you start seeing how co-parenting dynamics shape your child care program,
you can’t unsee it.

And that’s not a bad thing.
It’s actually the start of something better.

Because awareness isn’t the problem.
It’s the missing piece.

Here are ten things providers often begin to notice once they realize that co-parent conflict isn’t rare or extreme—it’s daily, and it’s theirs to manage: Continue reading “10 Things Providers Start to Notice Once They See the Migraine”